Skip to main content

Getting To Know Myself - Day 1


How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Certainly not 24. I really don't feel like a 24 year old. I often get frustrated that I haven't even lived for half a century and I have 4 life-long illnesses. Some of which will increase in severity as life goes on. My Wii Fit told me once that I was 71 years old, and I cried. I don't want to think that I'm 71 until I'm actually 71.
But that's not answering the question. If I didn't know how old I was, and I based it off of normal people, I'd guess I was in my 30s. Some of that is due to being sick. But I have also been through a divorce and a second marriage, raised twin infants and a toddler, and held down long term positions at just a couple of companies.

I used to think that being 20-something would be awesome. Friends and family have said that it can be the best time period of my life. I don't know if I'm holding myself back from enjoying my 20s, or if everything I've dealt with in life has forced the 20s time period away completely. Or maybe I have the wrong idea about what my 20s are supposed to contain. When I was younger, I had planned to be done having kids by the time I was 25. I'll be lucky if we get to start trying to have kids again by 25. (Shit. That's only 3 months away.) Of course, it really doesn't help that I've spent most of my 20s depressed and unmedicated. Maybe now that I'm back on my meds and actually feeling like doing stuff, the second half of the decade will be better.

Disclaimer: If you don't like what I have to say, that's fine. You are entitled to your own opinion, just as I am. And if you want to respond to anything I have said, I welcome your comments. However, if you want to comment solely to bash me or my opinions and beliefs, don't. I'll just delete it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Food Allergy Test Results

I was in for a surprise when I got my food allergy test results this past Wednesday. For the few days prior, my thoughts were wrought with fear that I may be allergic to garlic or nuts. I even started designing my garlic and nut super-villain tattoos. Thankfully those weren't on my list. The shock came with the 29 other items on my list! Moderate allergies Baker’s and brewer's yeast Pineapple Vanilla White mushroom Sensitivities Broccoli Buttermilk Carrots Casein Celery Cilantro Cinnamon Cod Dates Iceberg lettuce Kiwi Lamb Millet Onion Oregano Parsley Plum Potato Raspberry Rosemary Sage Strawberry Swiss cheese Turkey I was upset to see so many yummy foods on the list, including my go-to meat, turkey, and some of my usual spices. I was glad to see celery and onions, though. I’ve detested them for years and I always get laughed at for hating onions. Now I have a legitimate reason for hating them! I can live with this list. Well, I

What's Your Song? Thursday - Aug 18, 2011

Stressed out this week. Busy and exhausted. I've been singing Annie to keep myself happy. I like this video, because it's so interesting to see how Annie was cast over the years in various countries. Enjoy! Join the link-up at Amber's blog and checl out her giveaway!

What's Your Song? Thursday Link Up

This week has just been... rough. It started over the weekend. Mom and I spent a lot of time, money and effort in organizing my kitchen and cooking a ton of food. Sadly, cooking, as much as I love it, has become a major pain for me in the past couple of years, and even more so in the last 6 months. I have been dealing with a lot of back pain, and it is at the point where I cannot stand in one place for more than 10 minutes before I collapse in pain. And when I mean collapse, I'm not kidding. Knees hit the floor, tears start streaming down my face, and I lean on the object closest to me, hoping that the waves of pain along my spine will go away. Doctors have no idea what's wrong, x-rays don't show any problems, and the chiropractor claimed I had 4 pinched ligaments, but I can't afford to go to him twice a week to get adjustments (especially when the last time I went, I was in pain for a week afterwards). I did a lot of cooking while sitting down this weekend to ease the