Fighting PCOS Naturally

Let's talk about 2014.  I'll be 26 this year. That feels weird. Mainly because I know I'm over halfway to being 30. And let's not discuss my lack of success with my 30 before 30 list yet. Hubs will be 27.  Our 5yr wedding anniversary is this year. I'm not sure why, but half decades seem to be more important than other anniversaries. Our 7th year of dating is this year, too.  We're going to walk in the Walk for Hope, hosted by RESOLVE. My cysters and their friends and family are going as well. The Walk for Hope raises awareness for infertility. It's pet-friendly, but I'd have to get Spike leash trained really soon. What are my hopes for 2014? - be a happier me - run a 5k  - lose some weight - get the house organized - have a garage sale - enjoy my life The biggest hurdle to overcome right now is my self-hatred. That's got to change. I'm going to be more focused on completing my Happify tasks, and actually attempt to follow through on old ideas. T...

Holy crap, we're already at the end of this year? Where did the time go? Last year's resolution was to become a MILF. Or at least get my body prepared to start trying to get preggo with a donor in 2014. Yeah, that didn't happen. So I've made the next year's resolutions a little easier. I'm going to focus on becoming a happier me and organize/clean my house. Much less stressful than trying to put a numerical requirement or some awful restrictions on my life. I had hoped that we might be able to move out into a house this coming May, but I don't think that's going to happen, especially with the financial problems we've encountered this year. So I'm going to save that for 2015. It won't kill us to stay in the townhome for another year. In fact, it'll end up being the 2nd longest location that I've stayed in. It is kinda nice to not be moving every year or two. However, I might look into houses this year anyway, because I could get lucky....

I don't think I talk about my finances a lot - most of the time I keep it a secret so people won't ask me for money. But I need to complain about it this week. Last Thursday, the night it started icing in Texas, I discovered that a post-dated charity donation I made to a local symphony was pulled out of my account 2 weeks early. I keep a very strict watch on my money, especially since I only get paid once a month. We were getting down to the end of my paycheck, and had already forgotten to pay the rent until the 3rd. That got me a late fee. Then I found out about the early pull of the donation. I was quite frustrated because I knew that the rent check would bounce if I didn't get enough cash to cover my donation. Friday morning I have cash in hand. But it was the first full day of all the ice, and everything was closed. We've been using my mom's car since ours gave up, and she refused to let us drive to the bank. I understood her reasoning, and respected it. But...

I had my bi-annual rheumatologist appt today. I have been waiting for it so I could inform the doc about how the meds I'm on were useless. Well, not completely useless. But the pain meds were just taking the edge off, making life barely tolerable. I didn't call and tell him about it a few months ago, because I really don't want to look like a drug addict. I know that I already look that way when the pills bounce around in my purse. The conclusion is to increase the dosage of the pain killers I'm on. If that doesn't work, I'm headed to a pain management specialist that will just make my life more difficult, with strict limits, monthly appts, etc. He also wants me to workout. I know I need to, but I haven't done it. In order to have a little more energy so I can work out, he wants me to take Synthroid. I'm a little hesitant to start it, because I've heard that once you start it, you can't really go off of it. But I've also heard from friends ...

This past holiday weekend was eventful, to say the least. We had Thanksgiving at Dad's. My sister, Elle, was there too. Midway through dinner, We got from my mom. It said 'Memaw n hospital. Emergency surgery'. Memaw just had back surgery a month or two ago, and had been having problems with an infection near her surgical incision. She had already been to the doc and received antibiotics, which apparently weren't working. Thanksgiving Day, Papaw takes Memaw to the emergency room due to the pain she was in. They did an MRI and discovered an epidural abscess, an infection along the spinal cord. We left Dad's and headed to the hospital. They didn't end up doing the surgery until early Friday morning. They found that the infection wasn't as bad as they originally believed. She's still in the hospital because her blood count was really low. She's supposed to be moving to a rehab center in the next day or two so she doesn't have to recuperate in the hos...

So yesterday sucked. And I ranted and raved in my last post. Today I feel better. But I'm going to stop wishing that things would change. I'm the only one that can really make that happen, right? So here goes the new attitude. Eventually I'll have kids. At this point I don't know how, but I'm going to do my best to just wait until it happens. Maybe it'll be adoption in a decade or two. Yes, for awhile it will still hurt like hell, but I  can hurt or I can push through it. I don't know if this is related, but today is the first day that I took the full dose of ACE. I started Sunday with just one pill a day to ease into it. It might not be related at all, but at least I feel better than I did yesterday. I did get a great 90min massage last night. For anyone that gets massages, once you try a 90min session instead of a regular 60, you'll never go back. I mean it. I'm certainly not going back lol. I love my therapist, Chuck. He's very knowledgeable...

This post started out of sheer frustration. I was mad, angry, and ready to let the world have it. Even told Hubs that I was ready to lock myself in a room and never come out. But that won't do me any good. It certainly won't help my checkbook or my mental health. So what is a girl like me supposed to do? I don't know. I haven't known for years. I started talking to potential donors this past week, in the hopes that maybe we could start trying to get pregnant soon. But when I got home and thought about it, I got sick to my stomach. It's the first time it's ever happened. I'm used to getting sick after hearing about other people getting preggo. But I've never been sick at the thought of having my own kids. That's the dream I've had for almost 20 years now. So what the hell is going on? Is my body sick of the heartbreak? Does the thought of not having a biological child by Hubs make me nauseous? Am I freaked out by how life will go as long as I...