Cortisol and Leptin...

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I feel so run down. I felt like this most of last week, and ended up taking 3 days off work due to it. This weekend was better - We went to Houston. We spent several hours enjoying the Downtown Aquarium on Saturday, and I enjoyed my PCOS symposium on Sunday. But as soon as I got in the car to head home, this feeling came back. It was so bad that I tossed my cookies less than an hour after we got on the road. This was definitely not from being car sick. I don't get car sick. I was tired all evening, had stupid issues with my homework, and finally went to be at 2-2:30. I realize that was late, and it could explain why I'm tired, but it doesn't explain the run-down, crappy feeling. I got plenty of sleep last week and still felt this way. I think it could be a cortisol issue. I have high cortisol levels. I know I haven't checked with a doctor, but from the information I received at the PCOS symposium, as well as years of research, it fits. I did some more research, and it seems as though the large 'buffalo hump' on my upper back - the one I've had for over a decade, as well as my fat, puffy face, are usually caused by high levels of cortisol. I've known this for a few years, but it requires a doctor to test for cortisol levels, and then, if I have had such high levels for so long, it's probably caused by Cushing's Disease. But... I have to go to a doctor. And if it is Cushing's, it will require surgery to remove a tumor on my pituitary gland, adrenal glands, lungs, or pancreas. Definitely need insurance before I do that, so I can't get tested yet or the ins. company will call it a pre-existing condition.

I also likely have Leptin resistance, because it goes hand-in-hand with insulin resistance and off-kilter cortisol levels. Leptin is the protein secreted by your stored fat cells to tell your brain you aren't hungry anymore. In order to deal with the Leptin resistance, there is an intense, 21-day meat and veggie diet I can do. It's uber-restrictive, and I really don't think I could stick to it. As long as I feel this bad, keeping myself motivated to stay on track is just... impossible.

I realize that I could be making a mountain out of a molehill, but when you don't have access to a doctor, it happens. I am at a point where I want to quit my job so I can spend some time on me. With grad school, work and my family, there isn't much room in the schedule for 'me' time. My exercise time is not my 'me' time. I hate exercise, and it definitely doesn't relax me. I just do it because I have to. The weekends don't give me any time to relax, because I'm always busy doing something. Even just a month or two off work would probably do wonders for me. But Life says no. Ugh... I guess I'm used to it.

Ok, rant over.