Skip to main content

Eliminating fear of change by changing fear

I did my final weigh in for SCWLC. It was 247 pounds. The first weigh in was 251.2, so I lost 4.2 pounds in 6 weeks. Oh Em Gee. And I didn't really do anything. Well, ok, I was eating better. very few donuts. And I've been eating lots of fruits - strawberries and cherries :) I've considerably cut back on Jack in the Box, because we found WhichWich. And because the car broke down, so I have to bring food from home. and I started eating the fruits and veggies I get from Urban Acres every two weeks.

So that was a nice surprise. I know that I really need to start working out more. and I get mad at myself for choosing TV over exercise. I just end up exhausted by the time I get home, especially now that I'm working much longer hours. But I'm working towards getting better. It's a slow process, which frustrates me, but in the end things will change.

I'm one of those people that wants to see results immediately. I think a lot of us are like that now. I feel I don't have time to wait. Or that I'm tired of fighting and I just want the end result.

I know that major drawbacks for me are my illnesses. I fear that if I start taking better care of myself again, start working out, then my body will fall apart all over again. It's a stupid fear. It sounds counter-intuitive. How can taking better care of myself lead to getting sicker? It happened the first time. That's what bothers me. I was doing so well, then it all went to hell, and I haven't been able to find a way to fight that fear. Yes, it probably was just a badly timed coincidence.

So that's my new (and only!) goal for the next month or two, or four. I have to get over this fear before I can move on and move forward with my life.

This post on MindBodyGreen.com showed up in my email today:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10577/dont-believe-everything-you-think-especially-when-youre-afraid.html

"What’s causing you to keep running into the same damn brick wall? Fear. To be specific, fear of PAIN. Our nature is to avoid pain at all costs."

Tonight I'm getting something done.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What's Your Song? Thursday IS BACK!

I realized that I'm in desperate need of some tunage. I'm trying a 3-day juice fast, and I want it to go well, so I need to be in a good mood - esp. since I hate most of the veggies in the juice but I know they are good for me. I have some good news - I have lost enough weight to take the 'W's off the end of my pant size, and I had to buy new, SMALLER undies. YAY! The hubby is very excited about the pair decorated with sledding penguins lol. Here's my song - Dirty Laundry by Bitter:Sweet. Love this song!!! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go dance with my dog and ignore all the dirty laundry that really needs to meet the washing machine :) Join us on this great link-up from Amber at Goodnight Moon !
Post a Comment
Wait? There's more? >>

The Doctor... Doctor Who? A.K.A. Damn you, Netflix :)

Oh, the hardships of having no cable TV... We decided that we were paying way too much money for cable, when there were only a handful of channels we watched. Of course we couldn't get the basic cable, because it was missing half of the channels we wanted. So I cut it off completely. And I'm so glad I did. We upgraded our internet service, bought a year of Xbox Gold membership, and subscribed to Hulu Plus and Netflix. Although we have decided to cancel our Hulu subscription, we love Netflix. Hulu is great for current shows, but Netflix is awesome because we can watch an entire series. When it first came out, I LOVED Alias. It was a spy show starring Jennifer Garner. My mom and I used to watch it every week. But Hubs had never heard of it! Seriously, he lived under a mountain. At least when it came to TV. So we watched all 5 seasons of Alias. We decided that instead of watching various shows all at once, we would choose a series and watch it all before switching to a new show....
Post a Comment
Wait? There's more? >>

Recovery starts somewhere

The last few days have been an uphill/downhill roller coaster battle with myself. I know that it has something to do with my medications - Doc bumped one of my anti-depressants up and it made me angry and violent again, so I dropped back down. Now that I ran out of the lower dosage, I have to call doc and get him to adjust the Rx so I can get more. It's been really frustrating to realize medications are not going to completely fix my problems. As long as I continue to depress myself about our current childless situation, my meds will not fix me. I have to learn to fix myself. I have to learn that I am awesome without being a mom. I need to learn that I don't know what the future will hold, and things could change a million times between now and then. I need to learn the concept of 'happy' again. Someone in my support group said "You don't need children to be happy, that is just an illusion caused by society". I know that she was just trying to help me fee...
Post a Comment
Wait? There's more? >>