Skip to main content

Rest in Peace, Don.


As the time to leave for the funeral is approaching, I felt the need to get some things off my chest. (I know that it's not nice to speak ill of the deceased, so I'm going to be as nice as possible with this.)

Friday, just after hubby dropped me off at work, he called me. I was busy with customers, so I didn't answer. When I had the chance to listen to his voicemail, I knew something was WRONG. Like WAY WRONG. And damnit if I wasn't right. Hubs' grandfather suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. And I couldn't be at home to comfort hubby like he needed. I know that things like this happen, but I'm still sad that I wasn't available when he needed me.

I guess, due to the tensions in the family, it hasn't really hit me that Don is gone. I don't believe we were on the best of terms. The first time we met, he berated me for dating someone without a job. Actually, he words were something to the effect of "You are an idiot for dating him." I understood his position, and I let it slide. I love my hubby, even if we were living in a cardboard box. The last conversation hubby had with him didn't go well, either. He said "I have better things to do than talk to you." I don't understand how you could say that to your own grandson, but I couldn't change it.

The last time we saw Don was at our wedding, almost 3 years ago. I have one picture of them. Although my list of must have pics included one of us with his grandparents, it never was taken. I'm frustrated with myself for letting that happen. I'm mad that Don won't be around when we renew our vows and have a good photographer.



I'm sad that I didn't get to know Don like I should have. Because of the tension in the family, I stayed in the shadows, and let my husband make decisions. That's what I was supposed to do, right? He didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at his grandparent's house, so I didn't force him. And I can tell that he's regretting that now.

Life isn't fair - we see that on a daily basis. Life is disappointing. And that's what I'll be thinking about during the funeral. I've got a laundry list of shoulda woulda couldas in my head, and they aren't going away. We should have gone to visit. We could've set aside our differences and joined the family for Thanksgiving. I could have sent pictures when I said I would. We should have called and talked. But now, Don is gone, and that chance is over. So I can only hope that this was a blessing in disguise and it brings the family back together, for more than just a funeral.


Comments

  1. Beth WOctober 15, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    Sometimes that's how it goes- a death brings people together. But remember that Don made HIS choice in how he treated you and his grandson, and nothing you or your hubs could do would change that. It's Don's loss that he didn't get to forge a connection, and it's on him, not you or your hubby, to carry that regret.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Food Allergy Test Results

I was in for a surprise when I got my food allergy test results this past Wednesday. For the few days prior, my thoughts were wrought with fear that I may be allergic to garlic or nuts. I even started designing my garlic and nut super-villain tattoos. Thankfully those weren't on my list. The shock came with the 29 other items on my list! Moderate allergies Baker’s and brewer's yeast Pineapple Vanilla White mushroom Sensitivities Broccoli Buttermilk Carrots Casein Celery Cilantro Cinnamon Cod Dates Iceberg lettuce Kiwi Lamb Millet Onion Oregano Parsley Plum Potato Raspberry Rosemary Sage Strawberry Swiss cheese Turkey I was upset to see so many yummy foods on the list, including my go-to meat, turkey, and some of my usual spices. I was glad to see celery and onions, though. I’ve detested them for years and I always get laughed at for hating onions. Now I have a legitimate reason for hating them! I can live with this list. Well, I...
6 comments
Wait? There's more? >>

Diet and School updates

Dietary Change update: It's been about a month and a half now since I went vegetarian. It has been so easy for me. I really thought it was going to be hard, but I don't even miss meat that much. I'd be losing weight if I stopped eating peanut butter m&ms. I ran out of those last night and don't plan on asking Hubs to buy me any more. I hope to start seeing some weight disappear then. Thanksgiving has been the first holiday since I made this change, and I figured I might cheat and eat a little turkey. But Dad said that he's making a ham instead, and I hate ham, so it's a win-win situation! I'm making my usual from scratch green bean casserole - yum! School update: I finished my Anatomy and Physiology course with a final grade of 96. Woohoo! I've started my next class, Natural Heath and Nutrition. It focuses on the foods we eat that are beneficial for us and I'm really excited to learn more. This is exactly why I wanted to study nutrition! I ...
Post a Comment
Wait? There's more? >>

Vegetarian life update

I've made it through the first 3 days as a vegetarian, and I haven't missed meat at all. I know that the first few weeks are the hardest, and I'm pleased so far. I've been using quinoa and hemp seeds for proteins, and will be using nuts and beans as well. There are thousands of recipes online, and I've already tried some. I'm having to teach Hubs that it's okay for him to eat meat, and that I have no problem cooking it for him. I just don't add meat to my meal. It's surprisingly easy. We went to the grocery store on Saturday, and I walked out with no animal proteins or dairy in my bags. It was easy to ignore the meat. My PCOS group is doing an event called "Creating Goals with Soul", using Danielle LaPorte's Workbook O' Fire. Some of the girls are so excited to participate - and we could all use a little help sticking to our goals. My current health goals: - Continue my vegetarian lifestyle change - Eliminate my coffee consumpt...
Post a Comment
Wait? There's more? >>