Fighting PCOS Naturally

The last few days have been an uphill/downhill roller coaster battle with myself. I know that it has something to do with my medications - Doc bumped one of my anti-depressants up and it made me angry and violent again, so I dropped back down. Now that I ran out of the lower dosage, I have to call doc and get him to adjust the Rx so I can get more. It's been really frustrating to realize medications are not going to completely fix my problems. As long as I continue to depress myself about our current childless situation, my meds will not fix me. I have to learn to fix myself. I have to learn that I am awesome without being a mom. I need to learn that I don't know what the future will hold, and things could change a million times between now and then. I need to learn the concept of 'happy' again. Someone in my support group said "You don't need children to be happy, that is just an illusion caused by society". I know that she was just trying to help me fee...

(Disclaimer - I realize that most of my posts lately have been rants about my life. I would love to have more positive stuff for others on here, but right now I'm trying to focus on getting my head on straight) I've always thought I understood how my mom feels when she just wants to stay in bed. There's been many occasions when I don't want to get out of bed and face the world. But until yesterday, I don't think I truly understood that overwhelming desire for my bed. I knew that as I got older, I would encounter stressful situations I hadn't dealt with before. Like owing the IRS, dealing with sick/ill family members out of state, rent increases, student loan payments due, etc. I just didn't think they would all hit at once. And I didn't know how I would react. Of course, I had hoped that mentally I'd be more normal. But I was wrong. As usual. Over the weekend, hub's father had a stroke. We heard about it Sun morning. At 4:30 we decided a trip ...

If things go the way we have planned, hubs and I could be parents by the end of 2015. I know that sounds like a long time, and to me, it is. But with our plans, I think it'll happen, and it's a lot sooner than it would be if we were adopting. Plan A - Spend all of 2013 focused on my health and weight loss, so we can start using a sperm donor in 2014. My dad might not want to hear this, but oh well. I'm going to be a mother and you are going to be a grandfather, whether you like it or not :) Plan B - A secret :) This is still a little up in the air, so I don't want to talk about it yet. I brought this up because a lot of things have been on my mind lately. A very good friend of mine is pregnant, so we have been talking a lot about how we want to raise our kids. Hubs and I have always known we were going to homeschool, but what about when they are babies? Normal people probably don't think about stuff like this before they are preggo. But I'm not normal. I t...

I haven't updated a lot since I made my new year's resolution. So far, I'm not doing as well as I had hoped, but I'm doing better than nothing. Last week I did 2 yoga sessions, one 1/2 mile lap around the park, and 100 crunches. I succeeded in working out 3 days. Yay! Since it is getting warmer, I'm planning to do the lap around the park more often. Hubs and I used to go often last year, but stopped when it got too cold. Now we have to get back in the swing of things, and I think we can. I was upset at my weigh-in last night, because I had gone up a pound. But I'm going to try to focus my goals on what I'm doing, not what I'm weighing. This week's goal is to work out at least 3 days, and at least 30 min sessions. No restrictions, no excuses - just success.

I've become increasingly frustrated with myself. I make plans, but don't follow through with them. I join weight loss challenges, but I don't workout. I buy healthy food and watch it rot. I believe these are valid frustrations. And when I get mad at myself, I self-sabotage. Like half a dozen donuts and chinese takeout. Today I'm reminding myself of all the good changes I have made. 1) Switched to all-natural shampoo and conditioner - My hair has never looked better and cleaner. And I don't think I'm losing as much as I used to. 2) Switched to all-natural deodorant - No more cysts under my arms. Yay!!! 3) Switched to homemade laundry soap - clothes are cleaner, and saved a decent amount of money. 4) Switched to all-natural bar soap - Just feel cleaner. 5) Quit smoking - This is big. I started smoking at 12-13. I officially quit in Aug 2011. After 10 years, I quit cold turkey. Sadly, I recently started smoking again, 1 or 2 cigs a day, if that. So I need ...

I know that sounds por.no-ish, but I don't care. I want to be hot and sexy by the end of the year, and I'd love to be a mom. So if we combine those, you get a MILF. (Mother I'd like to F***, for those of you that are wondering) I want to lose at least 50 pounds, which averages out to 1 pound a week. I don't see why that would be too hard. My exercise/workout plans - Couch to 5K program with my husband. It's designed to get you RUNNING a 5K in 9 weeks. I'm hoping that this will be good for me and the hubby. He hasn't really been able to run since he got shot 6 yrs ago. I figured if we went slow, this would be like rehab for him, and he will be able to run again (or at least walk easier.) Yoga EVERY DAY. Leanne, a fabulous food blogger at HealthfulPursuit.com , did a 30-day challenge, where she did yoga every day, no matter how she felt. And she realized that the days that she didn't want to go were the days she really needed it the most. And when I ...

If not now, then when? Usually when it feels right. But the time may never feel right, and you'll never do it. You have to trust yourself to make the right choice, and that's the hardest part for me. Do I trust myself to make the right choices? Do I believe that I'm going down the right path? When I look back at some of the other choices I have made, I know they were horrible choices. But I have to tell myself that if I didn't make the stupid choices, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have the best husband in the world, because we never would have met. I wouldn't have my fur and feather babies. So what stupid choices in the future will lead to better things? I guess we may never know. Disclaimer: If you don't like what I have to say, that's fine. You are entitled to your own opinion, just as I am. And if you want to respond to anything I have said, I welcome your comments. However, if you want to comment solely to bash me or my opi...